There’s a version of “self-care” we see all over social media that looks beautifully curated.
Bubble baths. Face masks. Expensive candles. Matcha in aesthetic glasses. White robes in luxury spas.
And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of those things, I think a lot of women quietly feel like they’re somehow failing at self-care because their life doesn’t look like an Instagram reel.
Real self-care often looks far less glamorous. Sometimes it’s choosing to move your body because you know your mind and nervous system feel better afterwards. Sometimes it’s going to bed earlier instead of pushing through exhaustion. Sometimes it’s booking the reflexology appointment you keep saying you “don’t really have time for” because your nervous system has been running on high alert for months.
Sometimes it’s simply eating properly, drinking water, getting outside for a walk, or finally making the dentist appointment you’ve been putting off.
Because when you think about it, we already understand the concept of maintenance in almost every other area of life.
✅ We service our cars so they don’t break down.
✅ We go to the dentist to prevent bigger problems later.
✅ We charge our phones every day without questioning it.
✅ We maintain our homes, boilers, tyres, hair appointments, finances and businesses because we know neglect eventually catches up with us.
But many women expect themselves to keep going endlessly with no maintenance at all.
No rest.
No nervous system support.
No pause.
Just functioning.
And then we’re surprised when we feel overwhelmed, exhausted, emotional, snappy, anxious or completely drained. The truth is, your body isn’t a machine designed to endlessly output without support. You are not lazy for needing rest. You are not indulgent for taking care of yourself. You are not weak for needing space to recalibrate.
In fact, most women are carrying far more than people realise.
Work.
Children.
Mental load.
Life admin.
Emotional labour.
Relationships.
Hormonal changes.
The invisible responsibility of holding everything together for everyone else. And this is where I think we’ve slightly misunderstood self-care.
Self-care as Maintenance
It isn’t always about luxury.
It’s about sustainability.
It’s about creating enough support within your life that you can continue showing up for the people and things you care about without completely depleting yourself in the process.
Because you cannot pour endlessly from an empty cup, no matter how capable you are.
And ironically, the women who are often the best at caring for everybody else are usually the ones who leave themselves until last.
✅ We make the appointments for the children.
✅ We remind partners about things they need to do.
✅ We organise birthdays, school forms, dinners, work deadlines and everyone else’s emotional wellbeing.
Yet when it comes to our own needs, we minimise them.
“I’ll book something next month.”
“I’m fine.”
“I just need to push through this week.”
But eventually the body has a way of asking for attention.
Through tension.
Poor sleep.
Fatigue.
Brain fog.
Overwhelm.
Feeling constantly “wired but tired.”
Sometimes maintenance looks like movement. Sometimes it looks like stillness. Sometimes it looks like saying no. Sometimes it looks like asking for help. And sometimes it looks like lying back in a reflexology chair for an hour and allowing your body to properly switch off for the first time all week. Not because it’s “a treat”.
Because your nervous system matters too. And perhaps that’s the shift.
Seeing self-care less as something performative or Instagrammable… and more as regular maintenance for a busy human being living a real life.
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Reflexology Lymm | Treatments by Dawn 👣
Supporting women through the pressures of everyday life with reflexology focused on stress, sleep & hormonal balance.
Reflexology at your own home across Lymm & Cheshire, or from my treatment room in Thelwall.
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